Secrets of The Butterfly

goodbye

2009-06-30T18:37:00.000+08:00

Good bye Blogger and welcome wordpress...

from today onward i'll be using wordpress

http://chinizachocolato.wordpress.com/

visit it for more updates!!!

People the ironic

2009-06-29T23:33:00.002+08:00

death often allow people to be remembered but it doesnt mean the whole world should be going this route just to be remember.

Beloved Michael Jackson passed away on 25th june 2009 at the age of 50. it was then when people start saying good things about him. pedophile, child rapist and alot of other awful names were said. and now all people could say was, "he was a music legend", "he was a genius", "he was a good man who inspires me.".

the media just cant go any faker than this i guess. praising the person when only he's dead? Heath Ledger, Leslie Cheung, Anita Mui, Teresa Teng. isn't human being just ironic?

i've always thought MJ's music is really good eventhough i cant never make out his personal life. but like it said it's Personal. who cares about what he does to his face or he owns a Neverland and a mini zoo in the Neverland or the fact that he might be sleeping in oxygen tank...and the list goes on...who carea abt all these when you can provide good music.

Lipstick Jungle

2009-06-20T09:48:00.003+08:00

The book which i purchased ytd. LipStick Jungle by Candace Bushnell. The same author as Sex and The City.Every term i would try to visit the National Library to borrow a book. i cant do it this time round due to Mini Collection. The last book i bought was by Nora Roberts i think last year.

Will try to start my reading ASAP.

Collection= To be or Not To Be

2009-06-20T00:59:00.004+08:00

Title - To Be or Not To Be

This collection talks about people coming to a stage in their life not knowing wad they really want in life. Inspired by Labyrinth, this had people going round and round in a circular motion maze feeling lost and hopeless or even afraid of their future.

3weeks left with 2 more

2009-06-20T00:51:00.003+08:00

Mini Collection is finally over....phew....eventhou i did not win the first but still i survived in one piece. i kept telling myself that i must win in this. to me winning is not about winning the first in the whole mini collection. but rather i must really learn from it.

to be frank i like Alfie Leong's comment during the pre-judging. i feel i learn alot from it. just like i learn alot from susan. alot of life experiences i would say. but i'm not sure if this is consider winning.

but right not 3 weeks of hol i'm already down to 2 i must really make use of the time wisely.

in time to come i would like to transform this blog bit by bit into part of my portfolio to showcase my work.

Love Song - 方大同

2009-06-01T09:18:00.001+08:00

我写了这首歌　是一首简单歌
不复杂也不难唱的那一种歌
这不是　那种　只剩下那钢琴的歌
也不是　那种　不能只是朋友的歌
这不是　那种　两个人的故事写在一本小说　
那小说里有谁在花田里犯的错
这就是　一首写给你听的一个

Love Song　一直想写一首　
Love Song　你给了我一首　
Love Song 那DJ会播放　
这也许会效彷　如果我只想写出一首
Love Song　一直想写一首　
Love Song　你给了我一首　
Love Song 你就像那夏天的凉风　
吹过我的面孔　真想飞　
在我心底你就是　我的　想说爱你

我写了这首歌　是一首简单歌
不复杂也不难唱的那一种歌
这不是　那种　童话里会遇见的歌
也不是　那种　真真切切爱我的歌
这不是　那种　两个人的故事写在一本小说　
那小说里有谁在陪在看流星在降落
这就是　一首写给你听的一个

Love Song　一直想写一首　
Love Song　你给了我一首　
Love Song 那DJ会播放　
这也许会效彷　如果我只想写出一首
Love Song　一直想写一首　
Love Song　你给了我一首
Love Song 你就像那夏天的凉风　
吹过我的面孔真想飞　
在我心底　你就是　我的　想说爱你

如果你是一幅画　你会是最珍贵的一幅画　
如果那画家是梵高的画
有何贵人前来又献花　哥哥向你请教　
梵高他说你们都该回家
如果你是Melody　就是最动听　
所有的人都会跟着一起唱
就算在夜晚　你的心才能　
让我忘了月亮代表我的　Love Song

Love Song 那DJ会播放　
这也许会效彷　如果我只想写出一首
Love Song　一直想写一首　
Love Song　你给了我一首
Love Song 你就像那夏天的凉风　
吹过我的面孔真想飞　
在我心底　你就是　我的

真的

2009-05-30T01:41:00.003+08:00

梁文音 - 我不是你想像那么勇敢

..........

有时候太坚强笑容却填不满眼眶
越是想要隐藏歌声就唱的更响亮
直到入到心底最深处 OH~
你不要追问我还缺了些什麽

每个人都有梦幸福总站在最远方
心中越是渴望越是不敢伸手拥抱
谁的心是我最後一站 OH~
我强问我自己现在还没有个答案

我不是你想像那麽勇敢
多想让你保护能流泪一场
让我放下武装像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上

每个人都有梦幸福总站在最远方
心中越是渴望越是不敢伸手拥抱
谁的心是我最後一站 OH~
我强问我自己现在还没有个答案

我不是你想像总是扮演坚强
多想让你知道我也要个伴
放下讨厌武装像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上
我不是你想像的那麽勇敢

.................................................................................................................................................................
我是真的没有那么勇敢

我真的只要做你的仓鼠

被你保护和疼爱.

a line....

2009-05-26T20:59:00.000+08:00

i'm a line.

a very thin line. a line that is stretch so thin.

so thin, so thin.

the line is on a verge of snapping.

it thought it could.

it though it could succeed in sustaining.

it's v v thin now....

i Cried

2009-05-26T08:29:00.000+08:00

she Cried. How hard she must have cried. The pain was so excruciating and unbearable that she broke down. She thought she could. She thought she was strong. but she wasn't, after the cry. Thoughts of giving up the whole damn thing flooded in. She thought of him. Wishing he was here with her. She needed him. His warmth and touch, his big strong arms and soft warm tummy.

she Cried.



...................................................................................
Do you remember how,
we'd hold each other tight?
It was all I had to get me through the night.
I can't believe that you are gone.
Everything right it all went wrong.

Do you remember how we kissed?
You said you never felt like this.
I guess I thought it'd never end.
You know that you were my best friend.

CHORUS:

I cried,
And I don't care who knows it,
I cried,
I ain't too proud to show it,
I cried,
when you said good-bye,
ooh, baby,
I cried.

VERSE:
I wonder if you ever think of me,
or am I just another distant memory?
And after all, that we've been through,
it's just so hard to give up on you.

CHORUS 2X

I cried, I cried, I cried
When you said,
when you said,
when you said good-bye,
ooh, baby,
I cried.
I cried.

failure

2009-05-21T00:05:00.001+08:00

i failed.

terribly too...

:'(

Being Nostalgia

2009-05-19T15:52:00.003+08:00

All I Ask Of You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vec3bmdFkOg

RAOUL
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears
I'm here, nothing can harm you
my words will warm and calm you
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you...

CHRISTINE
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime...
Say you need me with you now and always...
Promise me that all you say is true
that's all I ask of you

RAOUL
Let me be your shelter
let me be your light
You're safe, No one will find you
your fears are far behind you...

CHRISTINE
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night
and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me...

RAOUL
Then say you'll share with me
one love, one lifetime
let me lead you from your solitude
Say you need me with you here, beside you...
anywhere you go, let me go too
Christine, that's all I ask of you...

CHRISTINE
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...
say the word and I will follow you...
Share each day with me,
each night, each morning...
Say you love me...

RAOUL
You know I do...

BOTH
Love me - that's all I ask of you
Anywhere you go let me go too
Love me - that's all I ask of you...

.........................................................................................................................................................................

LOvely song i would say and very touching as well. A scene from Phantom of the Opera which i will feel v touch to the point of tearing.

i watch the movie twice and twice i did not finish the show. some day i will when i have the time.

Look at what we eat....

2009-04-28T10:53:00.004+08:00

Dear Dear's dinner consist of -- Rice, Chicken Wing, Egg, and Lady's Finger

my dinner consist of -- beehoon, chicken wing, egg and lady's finger

it was super pure coincidental......telephatical?? Maybe hahhaa it was from the same stall too...

new New NEW

2009-04-25T13:07:00.003+08:00

thinking of having some changes to the blog.....so here goes =)

and totally in sync with my new theme for my collection book - Morbidity....

Counting and not counting to big day

2009-04-25T00:17:00.005+08:00

No! big day is not wedding day...definately not now even if it's now, it's not mine but Sharon's, my zone chief.

Big Day....16th June, Mini Collection Show....

lets show some of my progress....

Proposed title for my portfolio book

back figure man....done freehand.....quite proud of myself becuz i haven been drawing for quite some time

In-house Models

2009-04-20T10:37:00.004+08:00

Hello everyone,

Say "hi" to my in-house models.....

Busy Busy Busy

2009-04-18T22:24:00.004+08:00

really busy... lemme list down my workload

Mini Collection - sew up lining.
- draft set no 2
- redo shirt cuff to put in hook

CAD2 - design sketch and workshop drawing
- 1m by 1m fabric picture

POrtfolio - redo mini collection deisgns add in more sketches

originally wanted to go to Christian Lacroix's exhibition looks like there's no time for it tml. my Lacroix!!!

latest news

2009-04-13T10:34:00.000+08:00

received news ytd from a friend, Thuy, that she'll be flying back to her country for study due to certain issues in her life. i'm so sad that she couldn't continue this 'battle' of Mini Collection with me in class.

this is life i guess. 天底下没有不散之宴席。v true indeed. but nonetheless, Vietnam is consider quite near for me to visit.

this reminds me of Anusa, a Nepalese friend of mine. since 2002 till now, for 7 long yrs, the only chance of communication i have with her was thru the email and msn. and due to time difference (she's in America) it's really very difficult to stay in contact. but i know she's constantly on my mind. just like Thuy, i know she'll constantly be in my mind.

Always on my Mind

Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said & done
I just never took the time

But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
If I made you feel second best
Girl, I'm sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your
Sweet love hasn't died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied
Satisfied

Little things I should have said & done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Shit load

2009-03-13T02:06:00.002+08:00

what is the worst thing that can happen to you during a submission?

techinical error, your comp decided it's time to fall sick...

my comp gave up on me, or rather i gave up on it.thinking about it i realised that life without photoshop and illustrator is a torture.

anyway just to make my life feels abit better, i had a funny encounter. i board the bus to school and was listening to 'Breakin' Dishes' by Rihanna on my MP3 player. for those who have heard the song before will know that it's quite a fast tempo song. and i was standing next to this uncle in his 6os 70s i guess. i do not know what he was mumbling about with the earpiece on. All i saw was he kept kodding his head which coincide with the tempo of my song.

silly things in life do happen around us and i just find the scene really amusing.

In desperation

2009-03-11T12:42:00.002+08:00

the last time i updated was eons ago.....OMG~~
anyway been really busy with sch and work (as usual, nothing new)

after 3 months of previous post what do we get here? some websites which i swear by and follow conscientiously everyday....., yes EVERYDAY

http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/
http://www.nationalgeographic.com/
http://www.facebook.com
http://www.style.com
http://www.google.com (duh!)

currently working on my mini collection been super duper stressed up but luckily there's baby with me all the time =P

saw Yunjing the other day and it sparks off a series of thoughts in me....shall keep it a secret here....

been looking for research for my collection and funny website keep popping up with interesting stuff. lets check it out -

http://newmodernluxury.ning.com/
http://www.designtaxi.com/

http://newmodernluxury.ning.com/video/dirty-ballet-2007
really lurvved the video in the above website to bits sooo sexy... :D

i'm in desperation is becuz i have to show Susan See my workshop drawing by fri but i haven start work becuz i cant find Adobe Illustrator....SHIT!!

翠玲享受日记一

2008-12-06T11:20:00.002+08:00

翠玲最享受的是什么呢？

1。一个人无忧无虑在雨中散步。（当然是拿着雨伞）

2。吃自己最喜欢的Herhsay Sundae Pie (一定要使一个人吃完, hehe）-- my comfort food no 1.

3。Polar Pastries 常常都会有的Sugar Roll -- my comfort food no 2.

thousands of frustration

2008-11-15T00:51:00.003+08:00

stress is what i'm feeling now. Thoughts without any confidence is flooding my mind.

frustrations
fatigued
helplessness

i dunno if it's due to my recovery that makes me either becoming more lazy or just couldn't push myself anymore. i just dun want to fae yasitha. i cant blame anyone for doing with her. by doing a favour to everyone is doing a huge disfavour to myself. i hate myself. all the frustration i do not know to to overcome.

i'm just afraid with of my unfinished work. to do or not to do? to do, how to do? not to do how to submit?

HAve you watch them sleep? ---> Never

2008-10-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

忙= 盲

2008-10-15T11:47:00.002+08:00

经几年来都发现自己很忙。忙到好像都没有仔细的看我弟弟。这几天不知怎么了，或许开桥了吧。就是发现弟弟好像突然长大很多，变了很多。

是自己太忙了吗？还是，是自己太盲，根本就没心去看。

Rihanna - Take a Bow

2008-07-23T21:41:00.001+08:00

Oh
How 'bout a round of applause?
Yeah
Standin ovation
Oh woah Yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standin' outside my house
Tryin' to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Please
Just cut it out

Don't tell me you're sorry,
Cause you're not,
And baby when I know,
You're only sorry you got caught

But you put on quite a show.
Really had me goin'
But now it's time to go,
Curtain's finally closin'.
That was quite a show.
Very entertainin'.
But it's over now.
Go on and take a bow.

Grab your clothes and get gone.
You better hurry up,
Before the sprinklers come on.
Talkin 'bout,
'Girl I love you, you're the one.'
This just looks like a rerun.
Please.
What else is on?

And don't tell me you're sorry,
Cause you're not.
Baby when I know,
You're only sorry you got caught.

But you put on quite a show.
Really had me goin'
But now it's time to go,
Curtain's finally closin'.
That was quite a show.
Very entertainin'.
But it's over now.
Go on and take a bow.

And the award for the best lie goes to you!
For makin' me believe
That you could be faithful to me.
Let's hear your speech.

How 'bout a round of applause?
Standin' ovation

But you put on quite a show.
Really had me goin'
But now it's time to go,
Curtain's finally closin'.
That was quite a show.
Very entertainin'.
But it's over now.
Go on and take a bow.
But it's over now.

My Latest Craving

2008-07-21T21:30:00.004+08:00

My latest craving..... any one wants to guess?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Sex & The City

The sex part?

or the C?

It's Carrie Bradshaw!!

one can never get enough of Sex & The City i guess, definitely not me. Well i went to my classmate's house to do beading for our bustier assignment and we end up watching you-know-what. It was a bittersweet experience, because it was a both good and bad addiction of it. We watched Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda ranting and loving men of all size, shapes, and age.

well yes i'm totally hooked. but not to the point of eat SATC, breathe SATC, sleep SATC. Hopefully one day i could buy the movie book...

gosh

Memoirs of A Drunkard Hamster

shitting the next cool thing

2008-07-17T13:55:00.002+08:00

Shitting is the next cool thing. or
Shitting is the next cool thing?

full stop . or question mark ?

what is cool? why people want to be cool -

the cool things,
the cool crowd/ friends,/clique,
the coolest hangout in town,
the coolest music,
the coolest slang
the coolest ......
the ........ ........

the list goes on ...........

not cool = cold?

so is shitting the next cool phrase in town? well apparent so among my cool cliques. no. i am not talking about cursing and swearing using the 'SHit!' word in this manner. but rather people from a slightly closer relationship to very close relationship will do this, as stated below:

:: Chiniza Chocolato :: Guinea Piggy my sweet sweet lover.. says:
u v free in office issit
jUsT|n :: @ Office sent 7/17/2008 1:53 PM:
no
jUsT|n :: @ Office sent 7/17/2008 1:53 PM:
got things to do
jUsT|n :: @ Office sent 7/17/2008 1:53 PM:
just went to shit
:: Chiniza Chocolato :: Guinea Piggy my sweet sweet lover.. says:
ok how cool can u get
jUsT|n :: @ Office says:
very
:: Chiniza Chocolato :: Guinea Piggy my sweet sweet lover.. says:
yea shitting is the next in thing

this is a little real life anecdote to bring out my point. People no longer say,
"Execuse me, i would like to visit the washroom."

In this society, people get very straight to the point,
"hey, I'm going to shit."

In a way it has evolves. With the new generation, going for excretion is no longer discreet.

my new found struggles

2008-07-16T10:59:00.002+08:00

Struggling, struggling, struggling........to do a proper figure drawing....i must be independent in it!!

striving to draw 2 a day!!

Vivo Open Space

2008-07-06T14:32:00.009+08:00

By Justin

By Chui/Jadie

Illustrations

2008-07-06T14:08:00.002+08:00

Medium: Copic Markers, Technical Pens

Random drawings trying to improve my skills

It's her again

2008-06-24T14:34:00.004+08:00

2nd day to my 2 weeks holiday.

and yes i've been neglecting my blog for a little while (3mths to be exact)

jot down a list of holiday 'homework' for myself

so wad was the1st thing i did after my last paper and submission? Yes it's Nora Roberts again.

No quite coincidental to my previous term. In fact, i did it on purpose cuz that's the way my life is.

Nora Roberts and Judith McNaught to sooth my feelings after 3 months of stress and hard work.
i'm really easy to please.

For all to see, yup i did some changes to the whole blog. i'll be publishing my works around so stay tune to it. =)

In The Garden

2008-03-20T17:45:00.003+08:00

I would really want to say kudos to Nora Roberts. her books are really all so fantastic and most importantly appealing to my eyes. i finished my last exams yesterday and today apart from doing my report i just want to holed up at home to finish my third book.

my latest weakness? you can guess...not chocolates anymore ( i can survive pretty well without those) it's Nora Roberts!!

an addiction of some sort?? ...whahaha

i would call it an addiction.

Previously i bought a book by the same author not knowing that it's the 2nd book to a trilogy. After i finished reading i realised i need the 3rd one to complete the story and since i did not read the 1st part, naturally i was a little confused by the storyline. i was searching high and low for the 2 books whenever i hv the time to hit the book stores i'll be looking for them.

so it took me like almost 6mths to before i could finally lay my hand on them.

astonishing!! simple marvelous even thou it was 17 bucks a book i didn't regret my decisions in purchasing them. So together with my Dior 60th Anniversary magazine, i spend a total of 70 plus at Kinokuniya that day....*phew what a day...

news in today about me

2008-03-16T01:12:00.002+08:00

- came back from mtg -

- super tired-

- but feeling super good after the meeting -

- this year i mus really do my HR and built my district and chapter to be stronger!!!! -

no festive mood

2008-02-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

yup i know

it's really really long.....BLOG DYING, DYING hahaha....who's the mysterious JF?? someone i know?? i guess so...i have a name on mind =)

reveal yourself JF!! haha

i miss watch my DVDs.....bought a few previous while in JB no time to watch, really....

can i have a set of speakers for BDAY? laptop is so soft... that i could hardly hear it....

it's 3rd day of CNY. and to be honest there's not much festive mood lingering around this year....
why are they showing the same old movie each year....nothing new to watch?? boring year...

hope to hv a really exciting year ahead of me...

and i hope to come out with a website myself.......all by myself!!

Kenzo Amour

2007-11-25T18:05:00.000+08:00

nestles against your skin i slumber
cradled in world of travel sensation

lulled by smiles,
rocked by life

i breathe in colours
i capture flavours

i imagine a fragrance
sensual, soft, serene

it's a journey of love...

First Day of School

2007-10-02T20:34:00.001+08:00

" First Day of School"

That sounds like a typical composition topic in primary school. But no, it's really MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

After stopping school for 2 years and now i'm back again seems very brain-wreaking. It was indeed brain-wreaking on the first day. If anyone were to ask me to describe it one word, it'll only be STRESSFULL!!!

Maybe after working for a period of time, where people take you as an adult, you suddenly have to change your mentality, because lecturers treat you like a kid.

Rule No. 1: Cannot be late, or else points from assignments will be taken. ( Is this threatening us?)
Rule No. 2: No talking while the lecturer is talking. ( I thought this will only happen in primary school? )
Rule No.3: No listening to music when you are doing your own assignment during lesson. ( DUH! Needless to say right? )
Rue. No.4: No background music, all phone turn to vibrating or silent mode. ( We get this even will watching movies )
Rule No.5: When talking in class, do not use other language apart from English. Anyone caught using other languages, sticky tapes will be pasted over your mouth till end of lesson. And photo will be taken and send to Student service office and will be posted up the noticeboard and school newsletter. ( Sounds very much like Secondary school leh )

Look! Kids or not kids??!! Is this a tertiary institution or is this a primary school where we still need people to educate us on basic courtesy?

Mi ( my Korean lecturer) kept emphasizing that drive her crazy by asking the same questions over and over again. I think Mi is driving us to the wall by imposing all the rules and regulations on us. As if she thinks that assignments are not enough to do the job.

She made us look like a bunch of demons, if not, devils. ( or they pretty much the same? )

The Perfect Couple in my eyes

2007-10-02T20:19:00.000+08:00

I attended a cousin's wedding on Saturday.

and in my eyes, i saw a perfect couple.

No, they are not the newly-weds.

They are someone whom I've known for 22 years.

They are my parents.

They look so perfect as my dad kept taking food for my mum.

It was so sweet and heartwarming.

My dad so handsome and my mum so beautiful in her new hairstyle.

Throughout the years they may "fight".

It'll always be my dad poking fun and teasing my mum.

That's my dad type of hobby i guess.

And my mum will whack my dad in return for the fun of it.

23 years, their way of loving each other.

Can everyone do that?

Me, my thoughts and I

2007-09-21T09:50:00.000+08:00

Going back to sch on the 1st of October....

Sometime i wanna scold myself...wad the hell go back to sch and make myself suffer???

(having 2nd thoughts??) Ooppsie...i really hope not

feeling pretty nervous about it actually...

But i know if i continue staying at home with no job n doing nothing just tuition n freelancing...i'm gonna turn into a crouch potato soon

And my mum's gonna slice me up n fry...hmm...yummy yummy..

huh?

*Shoo shoo shoo... stupid idea go away~~

I'm just scared for the future, worried for you...

P.S will you allow me to cross this long, tough and hard journey with you?

______________________________________________________________________________

Our New Dish

was out having dinner with dear dear last night. We seldom order the same food. But yesterday we did - Japanese food Saba fish set. And from it, we created a whole new dish for the sake of fun hahaha.

And I named it 4-headed fish set.

4 - headed fish set

Shadow puppet show

2007-09-14T23:35:00.000+08:00

this is a shadow puppet of Louis Armstrong "wjavascript:void(0)
Publish Posthat a wonderful world"

Thoughts of the day

2007-09-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

1. why some people whom you think are friends ignore you after so many years? Is it really because of retribution?

2. How will school be like after stop schooling for like 2year?

3. When can i finally stop procrastinate and do up my prayer list?

4. Will US really turn Islamic?

5. What was the UAE company thinking when they hire Durai for $25k a month? (that's freaking hell lot of money after the corruption case)

6. Why are human such complicated creatures?

7. What would you do if u suddenly see your love ones being attacked by others?

Thinking...

My Sunshine

2007-09-08T17:28:00.000+08:00

You are my Sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You never know dear
How much i love you
Please don't take
My sunshine away
.......................................................................................................................................................................

have u thought who is the sunshine of your life?

I had been to St. Joseph Institute Junior for the past one week, waking up at 6am every morning to teach IT lesson to them. from the outside they look really cute and adorable. But once they open their mouth, some became the greatest devils in your life. Still an angel on the exterior. I won't consider them my sunshine definitely. They made me scream like crazy, made me feel that i'm going insane. So i really don't think they are my sunshine.

Can anyone guess who's my sunshine?

Our Song

2007-09-05T18:31:00.000+08:00

Been looking for a song for a long time. Everytime i hear Class 95 Love song with Yesmin, there'll be the boyfriend or the girlfriend dedicating songs to their other half. I'm always green with envy hahaha....went through a list of songs. From Journey, Atlantic Starr, Richard Marx to Whitney Houston and now finally, Firehouse.

Love the song very much. was listening to it n studying the lyrics. Really very meaningful lyrics, it really describe what i feel and it really describe the whole love me and dear dear are sharing.

Dear i love u so much n i feel really blessed with your love and care for me. I really hope and long to be able to hold your hands until our hair turn white, our teeth drop and when we have to use walking sticks supporting each other on our road.

Firehouse - Love of A Lifetime 

I guess the time was right for us to say
We'd take our time and live our lives
Together day by day

We'll make a wish and send it on a prayer
We know our dreams will all come true
With love that we can share

With you I never wonder--will you be there for me
With you I never wonder--you're the right one for me

I finally found the love of a lifetime
A love to last my whole life through
I finally found the love of a lifetime
Forever in my heart
I finally found the love of a lifetime

With every kiss, our love is like brand-new

And every star up in the sky
Was made for me and you
Still we both know that the road is long
We know that we will be together
Because our love is strong

I finally found the love of a lifetime
A love to last my whole life through

I finally found the love of a lifetime
Forever in my heart
I finally found the love of a lifetime

Privacy Vs Secrets

2007-08-29T20:58:00.000+08:00

I was reading an article in Life! today regarding Owen Wilson. He committed suicide. Or rather that was what the article states. I happened to come across New Paper in the afternoon. Top header was written Owen Wilson into depression or committed suicide over ex-flame Kate Hudson & new beau.

Nosy you would say. In Life!, Owen said, (hereby i quote) "I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time."

Private.

This word hits me.

As celebrity, there's no privacy so talk about. Everyone want a piece of you. Your secrets, your juice are so important to everyone is the journalism world. When Christopher Lee got out of jail, everyone was swarming around him for latest juices. Reporters stalked Fann Wong outside her house hoping to get some inside information. Readers want to know, they'll claim.

But if they do not provide with the news, will the readers know about it? If they do not keep putting, "Exclusive!" on the front page of tabloid magazines people will still buy them. Just that there'll be no extra juice. Just normal juice.

Being a celebrity, there's nothing call secrets. The more popular you are, the more people want to know about you. whether it is true or not, readers do not care. Because if you can publish in the papers, magazines, most readers will believe that there will be truths to it. Or how else will you be able to publish rite?

I feel that being a person without secrets is something very terrible. When i was in primary school, i had this very good friend of mine. Every now and den she'll ask me to help her keep secrets. Well, when you were a kid, keeping secrets make you feel important. When you come to think of it now, i don't think they are really secrets.

From what i know, Hamster and Guinea Pig do not have secrets.

A Fairytale dream and the Prince Charming

2007-08-24T20:07:00.000+08:00

Every girls dream. Who doesn't right?

It's every girls' dream to have her Prince charming dressing in white, sweeping her feet off the ground with roses and chocolates. He'll come in a white horse with beautiful white mane in golden harness pulling a carriage with pink laces and ribbons filled with pink and red roses. In the Carriage there will be a fur couch and champaign.

Wait a minute, isn't this a fairytale? (maybe except for the champaign)

Well, who doesn't long to be Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty, to be able to fall into their Prince Charming arms. I do. And I found mine 2 years ago.

Beauty with her Beast

Even though the Beast was hideous at the exterior, he was kind-hearted. Because of his love of Beauty, he always treated Beauty very well. And due to Beauty's love for him, he was transformed into a very handsome prince when she return to his side.

Our Prince Charming comes in all sort of shapes and sizes. But it will never be in a form of a beast, though.

Cinderella with Prince Charming

and hopefully we'll all get whiz to our beautiful castle

A Tinge of Patriotism

2007-08-23T13:40:00.000+08:00

Holding on to the Singapore flag

Wearing red and white to support National Day

Mummy wearing red and white with the NDP torches.

National day is always celebrated on a monthly basis even though it only falls on the 9th of August. This can be shown by the flags hanging on our HDB flats.

the rest of the photos we took on 9th of Aug...

@ Botanical Garden

@ Art House; exterior of Victoria Theatre

Art house staircase

The Guinea Piggy legend

2007-08-22T14:03:00.000+08:00

ta ta!!

time for the.........Guinea Pig legend!!

Once upon a time, there was a little girl. She was being called the Hamster by a boy since day one. No matter how much the girl hated it, the boy still call her Hamster. The girl will protest, complain, ignore, pretended to be upset, angry, pretended to be deaf, can't be bothered with it, it was still the boy's pleasure to call the girl Hamster.

He would often say, " You looked like Hamster wad. your nose so small like hamster, you so small size like hamster. You even got hamster's whiskers. I bet when u sleep u also curl up your hands in front of you like a hamster."

This truly causes the wrath of the girl. So one day, she decided to take revenge. She want to make the boy an equal. She thought really hard about it. she thought and she thought. Finally, she thought of Guinea Pig, which is a rodent as well.

When two rodents come together what would have happen??

Think about it....

The End

I'm a siberian and you are a wild hamster...keke

2007-08-21T18:27:00.000+08:00

This is meE~~

This is the Guinea Piggy...but how can a Guinea Piggy be a hamster.....

Stay tune for more~~

Hamster Eating broccoli

2007-08-08T12:44:00.000+08:00

Irritating Piggy Dear was showing me pictures of Hamsters the other day n we found this video by change....it's really adorable...

You can view the video at http://www.maniacworld.com/hamster-enjoys-Broccoli.html

Bubbly bubbly poof

2007-08-08T11:52:00.000+08:00

Whenever people see bubbles they will either play with it, avoid it or just ignore it.

Kids will certainly love to play with it.

Bubbles are very fun and mysterious creature and yet very sad. Sad is because they have very short live span. Once you touch it, *poof* they are gone. Like magic.

Bubbles create joy and laughter for people especially for me. I feel so wonderful seeing them bouncing and floating in the air.

Like a prism that is round they reflect lights....beautiful...

Can i float with them to the forest?

New Community

2007-08-04T12:57:00.000+08:00

this is my new community. Shifted here for more than 2 weeks. very noisy due to the stupid PIE. pretty settled down and everythingis fine except for the space constraint. half of my wardrobe is in the warehouse. how i miss it so much. even though the half is here but i only unpack a part of it. Dear dear said it's only 10% of what i own which i fully agreed haha.

Living on our left side are 2 indian family and to our right are indian workers. We are surrounded by indian people which seems abit scary at first. but i think they are quite ok people. just that we might have some free curry smell and food to go along with.

further down on the left is a malay family whom i have not seen them opening their door. but i know they have a cat. we have 2 more on to the right. the 4th unit belong to a Chinese aunt who ask us once if we wanted mee siam but too bad i was having a bad throat that time. this auntie has been staying around for quite long. and finally our last family is also a chinese family. good terms with my aunt as well. known them for quite long also. their kids around our age but we never talk before cuz we were never in the same school.

Singapore has always been promoting racial harmony for the longest time. with this kind of neighbour we are definitely multi-racial n multi cultural. Is this consider answering to govt's call?

777

2007-07-15T10:38:00.000+08:00

I'm back from Penang~~~ the holiday was fabulous. Spend lots n lots of time with THE Guinea Pig hahahaa and we had so much fun. but now got lots of update to do first.

Pictures from 777.

First we have 3

Then we have 4

And finally we have 5 with many many at the back

We were really bored to tears while waiting for things to start so we decided to take photos for fun.

2007-07-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

.............................................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................................

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I MA TAHW EM LLET ENOEMOS NAC?

Discovery with time

2007-07-01T23:33:00.000+08:00

Everyday is a discovery day. Some people don't mind spending money just to subscribe to SCV to get a discovery channel. Well, the best discovery channel is through my own eyes. A friend once told me, " You actually learn things from people you see everyday, even if u might not know him or her. When you learn the good, take it and apply in your own life. If it's bad, learn it still, but know it and do not apply in your life."

This morning was our SSA 4oth Anniversary first rehearsal with all the cultural group. I learn. I learn how our GD Mr Ong can be so observant. From that 5 1/2 hours ( we were there from 8.30 am to 2pm) he discovered and gave us something to learn. ASAP.

ASAP does not mean As Soon As Possible. It means Action through Spirit And Passion.

I discovered.

The first item was from Golden Lion. Though they look a bit "bengish" but they are really passionate about what they do. Some of them are really very young from their size, maybe in primary school or secondary school, but the efforts they put in at that young age was tremendous.

The junior choir kid were so cute...wearing colourful tops with jeans/ denim skirts, with black shoes. We know they sing like angels from our previous encounter with them. They were so sweet at that time. Thanking the big kor-kors and jie-jies (that's us!) But this time round they do not have mikes so our "Sound of Music" music drown their beautiful voices. But they still sing. Admirable spirit!!

Then we have our YMD Brass Band and our Koteikitai (Fife and Drum Corp). Very nice piece but marching still abit messy lah. The title of that piece is call 070707. Funny title the arranger gave it. But still it's nice. Thumbs up for the music!!

The final 2 item was contributions from the YMDs and the YWDs. Dieluohan display with mass dance. And i saw alot of my friends cause i was sitting down there with the orchestra looking at the performing ground. Frankly speaking especially the mass dance, they do not have much training. But during the rehearsal their display really show the vigor, the vitality, the passion and the joy of doing it. They may made mistakes, forgetting their steps. But it did not deter them from doing a great job. Showing us what good spirit they have by doing it.

At the same time 1st July we have been together for 2 years and 2 months. Up to this day I'm still in a process of discovering the inner him. It must have not been easy for him to do so. I'm not complaining. In fact I'm happy that he's able to do so. Some people think that when 2 person get together for a period of time, the love and the passion between the 2 will die down and everything will be monotonous, and boring. But till today we still have so much to learn from each other, to tease and to love one another. This is really a good sign.

Everyday is a learning and discovery process for me. An article once said that people now will live to an average of 75 years old. So I'll have 53 years more of free discovery channel.

Presidential Visit on 26th June

2007-06-29T10:29:00.001+08:00

President Nathan visited SSA on the 26th June at our HQ....

*gASp* o_O

*WooW* ~^.^~

Wonderful, Wonderful.....but wad was even wonderful was wad Sensei said...this is what GD told us ,

" Sensei wants to thank everyone for great effort in preparing for President's visit. Sensei said, " Singapore has won!" & he will support us. Sensei wants to publish this news in the Seikyo Shimbun "in a big way". Congratulations to one and all!"

Can you imagine? Seikyo Shimbun??? ^o^ =D =D =D

Actually during the whole show we were really nervous...thou it wasn't on national TV but still...in front of your country....not VIP but MIP (most important person). We did mistakes here and there...even i whacked the wrong note..but i feel that's not the main point. The main point is i guess we did enjoy ourselves after the hard work.

Pre-show photos.... enjoy~~

Starry Starry Night

Me Weili Meow

3 stupid women...whahahaa.....

Sweet sweet Audrey with uncle Jack but i think it's Weili's hand

Percussion 3 pretty girls....heee

Post-Show photo

Me and conductor Guangyi...

that's all for now....

tata~~

I'll be Waiting for you~

2007-06-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

Can't you see?
You mean everything to me…
You're in my heart
You've touched my soul…
You're all I'll ever need
And it hurts so bad…
Not to have you by my side
Nothing's right, I cry all night…
Just waiting for your call

I'll be waiting for you til the sun don't shine
I will wish on a star to make you mine
I'll be dreaming all night that you're by my side
I'll be waiting for you …
Said I'll be waiting for you til the end of time
Can't you see that I need you in my life
You're all that I want; I can't deny
I'll be waiting for you (I'll be waiting for you...)
I'll be waiting for you...

Love is hard…
When the days can seem so far
We were both inseparable…
And now we're torn apart
I refuse to try…
To love to someone new
’Cause what we shared was heavenly…
Like a rose that's in full bloom

I'll be waiting for you til the sun don't shine
I will wish on a star to make you mine
I'll be dreaming all night that you're by my side
I'll be waiting for you
Said I'll be waiting for you til the end of time
Can't you see that I need you in my life
You're all that I want; I can't deny
I'll be waiting for you (I'll be waiting for you...)
I'll be waiting for you...

Oh…you make me so happy…
I never thought I'd lose you
You're love was…and still is…
The only thing I run to…

I'll be waiting for you (ooh…) til the sun don't shine
I will wish on a star to make you mine (…woo…)
I'll be dreaming all night that you're by my side
I'll be waiting for you… (Waiting for you…)
Said I'll be waiting for you til the end of time
Can't you see that I need you in my life
You're all that I want; I can't deny
I'll be waiting for you (I'll be waiting for you...)

Yeah...every minute of every hour…
You know…I'll be waiting for you

它

2007-06-14T13:24:00.000+08:00

等待是一种思念

思念是一种等待

我好想那个特别的它。

backie backie....

2007-06-13T20:25:00.000+08:00

Hey guys~~

i'm back...after disappearing for like ehhh....3 months? haha...oppsie

today i'm gonna lug my dustbin around kekeke...

well was really busy for the past 3 months with work. well i swear i'm gonna be a real bummer for the next few months....whahahaa.... Mr Genie, please grant my wish to be a real bummer around the house. *gritting my teeth with real determination*

Found a few really awesome website....just added at the side bar....the websites are so cool...really arty-farty stuff...can check it out if u have the time.

1. http://www.woostercollective.com/
1. http://www.zefrank.com/
1. http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Tata~~

Sick Hamster

2007-02-25T14:30:00.000+08:00

i'm sick.....c'mon it's only a few days after CNY.....what the heck is wrong with my body

Happy Piggy YEar Pals~~

2007-02-17T22:01:00.000+08:00

Aahhhhh~~~~

break at last...was working n working n working non-stop like a mad hamster. return home v late at night v tired..so can't really do much. tml's CNY n my bloody room is still in a mess cuz really no mood. but hey i look around.... *look around* just bits n pieces of junk here n there so it cant be that bad. just stuff everything i could into my respective shelves.

sent my phone for a repair last month so my contacts are all gone.... *pooof*....gone... i've only got 58 contacts now compared to like 100 over 200 in the past...anyone seen this msg...very very impt....pls sms me...SMS ok?? frenz from TPSD, SNCO, my CHAPTER, ZONE....so sorry my msn personal msg is solely for Guinea Pig recently...haha so pals dun get jealous ok??

V day pass by quite alrite. like i said to Guinea piggy. " of the 365 days in a year, flowers are not neccessarily be given during V day. It can be given on the rest of the 364 days. V days are only meant for commercial purpose."

my mum told me, if u truly love each other everyday can be V day. but if both party often quarrel n fight n only during anniversaries and V day we give each other presents n flowers, then what is the point? rite?

So no flowers n prezzies for me this year haha...i dun mind. becuz i know i receive a something far better than flowers and any other presents. .. that is a better understanding on Guinea Piggy, and deeper love for him.

We'll brave through all the storms together and fight for all obstacles coming in our way. Nothing is too difficult for me as long as i have the Ghohonzon and guinea piggy by my side. =>

stupid phone

2007-01-17T15:47:00.000+08:00

i hate to admit this.

but when you are so addicted to smsing your guy, and your phone goes into the service centre, you feel totally argh~~ irritating....

Motorola......... motorola.......... motorola....... SUXXXX

when can i have a change of phone?? let's add on to my wishlist...whahahaaa

New Year Resolution

2007-01-17T00:56:00.000+08:00

Gosh~~ wad's the date today? haha...wad a time for New Year Resolutions.

But anyway Mayling sent me a letter along with a hand-made card to write my new year resolutions. it was really sweet of her. so sweet that i couldn't bear to use it. She told me that she'll do one which will not be so nice next year...oOpsie~~

Let's get on with the ride....

1. Do my human revolution.
2. Take care of my own health, drink more water.
3. To finish Sensei's books in every 2 months
4. Foster at least 1 successor in 2007 in my district.
5. Bring my brother back to gakkai
6. Do consistent gongyo & daimoku everyday.
7. Take music theory grade 4.
8. To have a better relationship with Justin.

My Fair Maiden

2006-12-19T18:56:00.000+08:00

I know of a fair maiden
Since 21 years ago
When we have laughter and fun
Between us are 15 months of time
For her to grow to learn
To teach me, this young girl.

21 years like a shoot star
She has become a beautiful lady,
Still very fair.
Words of wisdom, words of kindness
I learned all through her speech.
As elegant and wise
This young lady.

21 years of ups and downs,
We squabbled and we fought
To be what we are.
Hand in hand to school
Till we took a different path
Yet something always makes us
Come back together as one.

Fate has given us something
Not everyone has to enjoy.
Fate given us each other
For us to lean on
Hopefully we'll still lean on
When we grace old age together,
With our little brother.

Specially for my sister,

Happy 23rd Birthday, my fair maiden

Anyone interested in my new toy??

2006-12-16T14:15:00.000+08:00

Ewhooo

2006-12-15T13:37:00.000+08:00

when was my last blog entry? haha.....exactly 10 days ago...whoo...that's really long...

been reealll busy...really~~ i'm gonna protest. i'm not staying at home to slack anymore, no time to be a bummer.... and i'm aching all over becuz i was playing badminton with my dear...muscles' aching all over me, aching all over...pain pain....

was busy doing some stuff and i shan't reveal....i'm so mean...*evil grin* whahahaaa..

go to this link for more : http://chamber-gates.blogspot.com/

or simply go to "creations" under my links. been doing it for sometime...actually i plan quite some time ago. but due to my work commitment i have to shelf my plans. so viola~~...haha....brought my plan out from from the shelf and blew the dust away to start again *blow* hee...

all the things i've been recently gave me great joy. seriously speaking, after my previous job i sort of having some fear in looking for a new one. i dun want to be torture again. it's not as if i cant earn a single cent by doing things i enjoy. Money and Enjoyment? i'll definitely choose the latter. no point giving me a 2-3K job when i absolutely hate what i'm doing right guys? i slog for what i believe in. like a simple cup of durian ice-cream which i'm eating right now *yummy* haha

Bleah~~

heart bear

2006-12-05T11:59:00.000+08:00

my favourite huggies...hahaa...from dear dear....

for you

2006-11-23T11:04:00.000+08:00

today is the opening ooofffff....Happy Feet...the show i've been anticipating for loonnngg long time...Van do we have to wait for Hansoken?? Musicsiao okok??

Dear dear will be having his exams counting down to 4 days~~ jiayou loh....muz do me proud ok so that it will be worth it that we dun see each other for 2 weeks...hahaaahaa....den i dun care dec u are mine....muz accompany me until u start school again...hee.....am i very demanding?? haha...becuz if i choose to start school on jan we dun have time le lah....

bleah~~~

2006-11-22T20:44:00.000+08:00

每过热闹一天
感觉又离开自己多一点
回忆越来越繁琐
一点一滴失去了你
天空拥挤
有着不同的梦
却是一样透不过气
在忙乱时候
又错过了季节的转移
每当寂寞来袭
在陌生夜里
偶尔也想着
该坚持或放弃
不必伤感不必哭泣
黎明会来临
学着珍惜
生命会有奇迹
相爱或别离
也许在某天
会发现它意义
思念却一直有种魔力
让累了的心
一直能继续
我累了的心

peace wish

2006-11-20T00:23:00.000+08:00

我现在在听周杰伦的枫，我哭了。。。。

刚知道Vanessa的太公过世了。

外公，我很想念你

是我自己的愚蠢让我有这个遗憾

是我的无知让我犯下了这个错

你及时可以回到我们的身边？

裴伤渐渐变成思念

思念变成抱歉

对着照片让眼泪若下

把裴伤换为她的快乐

i was watching Step Up in the theatre just now. the whole show was nothing great...really...for those who watch Save The Last Dance n not exactly a fan to dance, it's pretty much the same. what really touches me was when Mac's kid bro Skinny died, all mac want to do was to do his best for his late bro..

In comparison

2006-11-17T21:11:00.000+08:00

Now lets compare these 2....c which one nicer.....
Look properly....there's a diff to it ok....

Final Outlook

2006-11-16T16:58:00.000+08:00

ok guys....

SNCO logo is finally out from the oven hahahaa......but tto bad dun think i can make it for band on the 25th cuz got my discussion mtg falls on that day. So i'll have to wait for the next pract to submit....but meanwhile pls critic....so that i can present a better designs to the 3 chiefs....

if you cant see it due to the stupid dimension of my blog you can go to....
http://chiniza.multiply.com/

sob sob

2006-11-16T00:24:00.000+08:00

all i want to do is to encourage n console him, to make him happy but apparently i cant n i'm the getting so upset about it.

sometimes i feel that i cant give him happiness anymore becuz the more i see him the more i feel that he's always unhappy.

is he practising wrongly or am i just not strong enough....

what's in it now?

2006-11-15T14:31:00.001+08:00

just finish watching "Phantom of the Opera" DVD. very touching.....the actualy musical is in Sg...or has it past? well for SNCO upcoming concert we are playing "Phantom of the Opera". althou it's much harder becuz it's an orchestra piece, i have more feelings towards this piece than our previous one. so after the watching the DVD i fall in love with the musics....it's really fantastic. this "musical" has found my brain thinking of SSA main activity next year. from the zone all leaders mtg we'll ba having a musical night in 2007....WoWww....will SNCO be the one playing the musics? hahaa

it's drizzling outside now...watching the rain pitter-pattering outside, down the buildings

time to work on my LOTUS~~

resolutions

2006-11-14T12:44:00.000+08:00

went to my zone leaders mtg last night.....yippeee....mayling got transfer to my chapter. n guess what...i saw ying jie...finally....after coming back from UK that was the 1st time i saw him...haha...
towards the end of the mtg they show a video clip of Sensei doing the fan dance on the song, "微风堂堂". i feel very touched whenever i see sensei's video clip i almost want to cry. In my heart i was feeling, Sensei is not young anymore but he never stop to fight for kofu and never fail to guide us with his words and actions. He is indeed very noble

anyone who come to my house will know that we have lots of Gakkai books. not as big as our SYC livrary but it's still alot of books to me. Even though my sis n i bought them, i realised that i'll only read them whenever i have to prepare things for mtg. i feel kinda bad. and eversince i become active i have never complete a book of New Human Revolution. always read it halfway n give up n start picking up another book.

During my secondary school time most of my frenz are really into comics n i'm the only one into books. Novels, non-fiction, romance, trillers and the list goes on. i tried reading comics but i cant....i just feel that reading words allow me to be imaginative n a sense of satisfaction. i may be reading but in my mind i will visualise the whole plot inside my head which gives me a really good feeling.

today i pick up the book of photocopied Human Revolution Vol. 1 which my bf pass it to me long long long time ago hahaaha......but i never managed to finish it. every year i will set New Year resolutions to finish Gakkai books but i never. so this time round i still have 1 1/2 months left i'm going to try my best to finish this book of HR.

jiayou ba!!

SNCO logo

2006-11-12T12:12:00.000+08:00

seriously this is the longest art work i'm doing so far. i've gotta keep wreaking my brain to think of ideas. n i think Shini wait until fed-up already...haha cuz i'm taking so long...

i dun mind...i juz want to give my best shot....i want to produced something that when people see they will think of SNCO immediately. i want this kinda feeling. i personally think that it's important. esp when it comes to logo or symbol which represents something. the moment poeples eyes touch the logo, they must go, "yes! this is SNCO!!" den it'll be consider a success.

so guys from SNCO muz tell me your best feelings when the logo is published out ok. i want the truth cuz i feel that it will be very crucial. the logo's gonna stick with us for the next 10? 20 years?

dun choose but rather point out what is missing from it ok?

i want to give SNCO the best logo~~

pls preview bits n pieces

my new works....

2006-11-09T23:08:00.000+08:00

Lena Parks - This Love

2006-11-07T23:40:00.000+08:00

Only in your memories
there we are still alive
Somewhere in your dreams
I'm singing you lullabies

Time, time may have passed but
Don't let me forget
my life is an aching
heart of untold regret

Why did I ever let you go?
Now all I can do is watch the sky

oh, hear my cry, yellow moon up high
And take my soul into your lonely light

so that this love can fly a thousand miles
and a light on him tonight

I know that I never
loved you the way I should
now, how will I ever
prove to you I could

Why did I ever let you go?
Now all I can do is watch the sky
Shine on him my love tonight

Courtesy of : http://forums.boajjang.com/index.php?showtopic=79

thoughts of 4th Nov night 5th Nov morning

2006-11-05T12:54:00.000+08:00

when was the last time you felt so fucked up?
when was the last time you felt that you were kinda blame for things that were not within your control? supernatural powers?

haha....LAST NIGHT~~~

not that i was blame last night for having supernatural powers but rather i was blame for not having supernatural powers aka MYSTIC LAW.

tiredness, shaggness, dead, oh helL~~~ save me from agony...

oh no no....Ghohonzon save me from misery rather....

LET'S IMAGINE....someone being so stressed up over studies, came over to you said sth that wasn't within your control. not 1 but 2. you cant protect the things you love while the guys just shoot away. bang bang bang.....you have nowhere to hide, you cant defend for yourself, you feel so helpless....

I love SNCO, I truly love my orchestra. but why some poeple have to blame me for things i have no control of? i wanna cry.

we welcome combine concert with other bands. we are no professional players, rather more than 1/2 aren't. if some idiotic people insist on thinking that combining with us will only make them feel like the worst band on earth, will only mke us the best of all band, forget it. no point conbining.

not that i wanna crticised. learning an instrument is never an easy task. but it the love of music that brought us so far to learn it, master it. different band have different motive of learning music. playing an instrument is an enjoyable thing to do. but why other bands make it as it was a torture to have a combine concert with us? are we really in the limelight?

i felt so fucked up last night when i was talking to them. or listening to them.

is their heart too narrow or i simply cannot put myself into their shoe?

i know they will pick the latter....

Never

2006-09-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

do you know that sometimes answers are just right in front of you when you are searching high n low for it?

some people are just so blind and i'm one of those blinded by stupidity
yeah....stupidity....

everyone wants the best and i'm no exceptio
everybody want the best school, with the best results. the best job with the best salery. the best boyfriend/ girlfriend with the best relationship. the best car, the best house, the best credit card, the best golf club, the best grass

grass...
often we have the best and yet we still eye on the grass on the other side. we have the concept of "the grass on the other side is always the richer"

we are rich but we want richer. having our first million already we'll long for our first billion.

why are human so greedy??

in the process of searching for a better field we will forget that what we own are already the best and therefore losing our grip to it n slip off from our hands eventually.

Sour Cream

2006-08-18T10:27:00.000+08:00

yup up to this point of time i'm still feeling sore

i cannot think of any reason why i need to give in to you

n why we need to fight over stupid issue

yes i'm upset...v upset indeed

Pink colour pencil

2006-06-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

why i love him so much?

becuz....

he really cheers me up when i'm down...

countless fun time together

enables the visualize future for the 2 of us...dang dang dang dang

give me a sence of security....

we r connected by heart

the colour for the day is Green

2006-06-03T23:35:00.000+08:00

i really envy sisters having great relationship. it's sth i really want. i know my sis is always not with us so i really try to treasure every moment i have with us...

i remember the time when we shift to our current house. it was furnished at all the 3 of us will bring board games into the house to play.

and on another ocassion, our parents brought relatives into the empty house. we bought chips in and we take to eat n talk. i really miss those days.

can i have them back?

now...

whenever my sis is back i relly feel happy but at the same time i feel a little dreadful. whenever we talk (which i dun even consider talking) i felt stinging pain. a conversation will always ended up in frustration, sadness really negative.

i want to do human revolution i dun wan to argue with my sis i dun wanna talk back my mum. all these is not becuz i wan my bro to take up faith n we dun argue when he's ard. n we does when he's not. it's all so fake

i bet nobody knows that i take my sis someone i really look up to. she is wad i'm not.

she's merticulous while i'm someone who's always so careless. she really take care of her members v well n her things. i always put my stuff all round the house...

oh pls...chuiling stop crying.....

i really feel v sad n helpless

v sad n helpless

sad n helpless.........

WHY?

2006-04-10T08:37:00.000+08:00

OK GUYS...NOW I KNOW WHY......

do i belong to you??

2006-04-09T12:39:00.000+08:00

i'm sure everyone has day-dreams since young, like wise for me. While everyone dream of being a singer, celebratiy, a superstar like the recent Idol, i dreamt of sth else. i always has this dream tat someone will take come to me one day confessing he's my long lost dad n tat i belong to another family. Say tat i watch too much tv programs or has the wildest imagination possible, wadever. All along since young i have this fantasy. it's only till now den i realise thIS prob (i call it a problem) eventhou this has been going on for years.

i asked my mum this qns one day,"do i belong to you?"

WHY?

becuz i realise the vast differences between me n my family. there was in instance where my dad change his car. my whole family(my dad, mum, sis. n bro) was fussy over the car exploring every inch when i dun c wad's there to fuss abt in another occasion

Y am i so special? sometimes we'll have this vast difference in frequency. the four of them can be on the same line n doesnt understand abt me. i know sometimes i can be expecting the stars from the sky. apparently i have to get my ass outta of the house, but my family can be at home all day long watching TV??!!

WHO EXACTLY AM I ??

apparently recently everyone is so concern abt sth recently tat i dun really am.

does it really matter if i didnt get it...well juz abit sore in the first place. but now i guess i've gotten over it i'm juz too easy to forget.

it's money really tat impt? mayb not at the moment but knowing tat i earn so little i muz save more . if i earn more will i save more? probably not cuz i'll spend even more haha...ironic isn't so...

different people hv different espects in money...some rich people, they may earn alot of money for thir children, giving them everything they want but the kids get emotionally imbalance n starts to seek thrill in stealing, getting themselves into mess loads of trouble. C'mon, aren't they rich they can get anything they want as long as they put out their hands in fromt of their parents...

aWw...sad, isn't it? money sometimes can get us into so much heartache. so will it be better if those parents arent so rich?

who rules your life?

Money or u?

????

2006-03-12T16:28:00.000+08:00

@$%&*()P**&%%*I%()(*&(()$#%%^%&^&^&&^@#$ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS WRONMG WITH YOU???????

my life condition is hitting rock-bottom.....i flare up easily n get so frustrated with myself out of no apparent reason.

HELLLOO...CHUILING YOU R NOT A KID ANYMORE.

i know that but i feel like i am running away from sth. i know i should do sth abt it but i dun have the motivation to do it...i feel juz so so so so tired of everything

HOW LONG HV YOU NOT DOING EVENING GONGYO????

for as long as i remember...wad now?
i know what i should be doing....CHANT!!!!!!!!
but knowing doesnt mean i'm pushing myself for action

i juz want to cry.......
:-(

bad bad....

2006-01-20T22:04:00.000+08:00

i'm trying to be positive everyday. but sometimes when i get tired i find it rather hard. my mood fluctuate like nobody's business. i can feel so fustrated over nothing. it's juz a feeling inside me.

i juz wanna cry...y am i so negative?

there's alot of things i wanna do but i cant find the energy.
am i getting old?
but i'm barely 21

furstrated to a point tat i juz wanna shut myself up dun even wanna talk to anybody...anybody

wad's wrong with me ????

Recently i've been talking to myself alot...sth i've nv done for a long long time. there'll be the angel n deveil of me talking to each other there'll be the bad n good part of me...well sometimes angel will win sometimes devil's turn to win

i only wanna cry till the rivers run dry, slepp till the winters come.

ME

2005-09-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

People keep telling chanting is good attending mtg is good. as a leader now myself i really wish i could go back to being a member. my schedule is so pack tat i could hardly breathe. there's alot of things i would really like to do but my pysical state cant seem to hold on

seriously i really feel v stress. everytime after mtg we should feel revitalise, refresh and more inspired. but sadly not for me. sometimes i really hope tat i can juz drop everything n hide inside a hole. juz like an ostrich. i dun feel happy doing all these. i dun even know if all these are the correct things for me. buddhist is supposed to teach good, but apparently i'm not doing good. wad ever tat didnt happened in the past happened in my life.

every night i feel so tired tat i juz go straight to my room n lock my eyes to the comp or my hand to the receiver. communications to family seems to be a chore, i feel tat they hv the same frequncy tgt accept me. wadever they say, the tone they used it on me i really cannot accept. at home all i wanna do is to juz shut up n hide. i really cannot take the stress anymore. alot of times i really feel v confused n dunno wad to do. everybody have their own struggle and this is my struggle of finding my identity. funny tat others find it while they are in their teens while i hv already past tat age. i really dunno whether it's a good thing tat i acceot so many appointment. others might find it alrite but i find it really hard to cope.stress n pressure is all i have,

whenever we encourage others, we will b able to encourage ourselves but strangely not for my case..*shake head*..i really dunno wad's wrong with me. or is this my struggle my karma tat only i myself can find it...

2 sisters of my life

2005-08-02T17:10:00.000+08:00

Was looking through my drawers for something when i pondered upon Mayling's letter to me. Mayling was my Instituition Ic back in TPSD. Now that i hv promoted up, she has already graduate. Looking back, i really miss those days. Ever since graduated from sch, now in working society, alot of things hv change and it's changing v fast.

Being a member back den, Becky my district leader, and Mayling my IIC are ppl who i can share my problems, my joy, my everything. They are like older sisters to me, guiding me, encouraging me and advising me whenever i feel lost and need someone to gear me back to my track. Now that being a student ic myself and n a soon-to-be leader, they are no longer juz beside me guiding me throu the maze in life.

I always rem wad Becky told me all the time, " 先接受后挑战“ meaning, first accept whatever role you are given before challenging it. Juz say yes to wadever role tat is given, for leaders will only wan us to grow more, they wun harm us. This is something i will always remember from her =) when she first came into my district, i was not v active in all those mtgs. but wad i rem was, she is v fun to be with, even now. she wld always be the sunshine during our 4D mtg making the most noice, forever being so cheerful. with her ard i really grow alot in faith and in my district

and from Mayling, what i have learn from her is the effort she willing to put in TPSD despite her busy schedule, making alot of things possible, and the sincerity when she treat ppl. I always love the moment whenever i receive letters from her. even thou she end her work v late, she still take the effort to write me a letter. n everytime whenever i'm reading a new 1, my heart would really b v touched feeling with warmth.

Many ppl will often leave a footstep into our lifes. But no matter how shallow or deep it is, the most impt thing i feel is wad we have gain from those footsteps. In another words, what we have learn from these ppl. A leader once told me this, everyone we encounter is someone we can learn from. it can be good or bad, but ultimately we have to use our own wisdom as to how we want to apply to our own live.

which dimension are you in?

2005-05-24T16:50:00.000+08:00

have you ever wonder wad it is like to be in the fourth dimension?? if 2 dimension is like a piece of paper, will the beings at the 4th dimension look wierd?

回到一个人

2005-05-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

隐隐感觉到你紧张的心跳
伸手只牵到你的味道
没有人忘掉没有人睡得着
没想到思念无法治疗没有我的依靠
你走的方向会不会想逃
在你的心那一角
有没有听到我每天衷心的祈祷
而我的坚强还剩多少
你让我回到一个人
没有你的另一个人
原来我有一部份
陷入你灵魂之深
你让我回到一个人
我怎能再爱得完整
没有你分我体温
风一吹特别冷心更疼

slacking life

2005-05-22T15:05:00.000+08:00

alrite guys...time for a decent update after missing for a month =P *bleah*

i've graduated from TP for more than a month.most friends around me had already gotten a job and start working..how?? i've been spending n spending $$ from my parents. not tat they are rich lah, my dad KB already loh...everytime rush me to get a job. althou i feel v sian after slacking for so long, but i'm not motivated to look for a job. althou i'm been slacking until i v sian hor, i still continue doing so. other than having no motivation, i'm also quite scared of wad will happen in the working world.

thousand and once questions keep flying around my head. " Will i get a job that gimme a decent pay?" or "wad if i dun fit in into the environment?" or "will the people there be nice to me?" or "Is the environment really tat bitchy?" so on and so forth. den my portfolio is not ready yet. i know i dun wan a merchandising job, no sales job. i juz wanna design job but i know fairly well tat i'm not exactly train in tat area. too demanding hor...argh!! y do we need to work anyway...

A brand new me

2005-05-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

the story has end, with guinea pig and hamster happily ever after, or izzit? darling~~ pardon me for being sceptical. due to some bad experience in the past, forever doesnt seem to appear in my dictionary anymore. show me some actual proof, mayb it'll work...i guess the more i tell myself to remain single, the more i fall deeper into the river of love.
it's kinda surprise me as well. i feel as thou i've change into another being. as i listen to Kenny G's songs..lots of emotions fill thru my mind. i'm someone who change as things comes n goes in my life. so it's not surprising tat i will tend to give alot into the relationship. of coz the other half will definately not be my centre of everything. but wadever decision i make and things i do, i'll tend to put him into consideration b4 i made the choice...am i contrdicting myself?? hahaha..i guess so..

2005-04-15T13:10:00.000+08:00

Is this really call love? if so, why do i keep imagining things? why do i keep putting the 2 of them together? the voice, remind me of each other...sometimes i juz feel tat i cant let him go. still remember the times when we talk on the phone till wee hours in the night, till his dad woke up and do his morning prayers b4 we could bear to put down the phone to sleep. i am really surprised at myself. but now i could hardly hold long conversations. mayb once in a while, but definately not all the time.

thinking back, is he really the guy for me? althou we broke up for almost 5-6 months or maybe more[didnt really go n count] i still find myself thinking of him unknowingly. whenever i desperately need someone to tok to now, he'll always be the 1st on my mind. he's going NS soon. Very soon, he wouldnt hv such time for me. he is the 1 who i can tok almost everything. and he always know the right words to say, to encourage me and to cheer me on. i was on the bringe of breaking down during my FYP. the 1st person i tot of was him. listening to his voice once again remind me of those wonderful times. althou we seldom meet now, we'll see each other once in awhile in kaikan. thou the beginning of our break up was rather awkward, that phrase slowly pass on n we remain as frenz now.

But still as long as he is happy, i'll be happy for him. currently he has 1 more paper to go. Boy jiayou ok!!!

..................................

2005-04-12T12:34:00.000+08:00

Am i being v demanding?
i asked my dad if i can go bangkok. i know i got rejected when i ask to go nepal to visit. i tot since we go in a big grp..he'll allow but hell no! i insisted having my way. i insist tat i'm paying for everything n tat shut him up..hell..i'm wondering wad parents r up to nowadays....WE R BEING SO PAMPERED!!

y cant we get out of our little over-protected world n have a look? i was sort of aruging with my mum juz now. i sometimes feel tat she dun understand me at all. i dunno izzit becuz i'm too demanding or we cant communicate. sometimes wad ever said she juz dun c the link.sometimes talking to her can really vomit blood. i dun blame her for being lowly-educated, really. but i juz feel tat she doesnt step into my shoe to look at the situation, or becuz i'm not?

in my stand, i feel tat we shld thrown outside n have a taste of the real world outside. but parents juz want us to study study study. we may want to compete with students from overseas, we may be smart academically getting how many how many As. but can we really survive when we r outside working? our survival skills?
wad the purpose with so many As in our report book when we cnat even survive? or worse having attitude problems? being too pampered?

Parents doesnt like us to fall down. but when we dun, we wun know wad izzit like to fall. i know it's natural for parents worry abt us. whose doesnt rite? but we need to independent, trained rite from the start, from young. but parents doesnt seem to understand tat. they will keep saying, you r still young cannot this..cannot that, juz becuz govt want us to study

no stings attached VS one-night stand

2005-04-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

no strings attached and one-night stand, which is worse?

if you ask a guy this question, they'll be, "why not?" For guys, the lustier gender of both, they will be be more than happy if the silly girl send herself to the doorsteps. With the world getting more open-minded, people are doing this for their own pleasure, with the girl being a willing partner. Not only guys, girls as well, need to satisfy their desire.

From an article i read recently, they interviewed girls where they are willing partners for no-strings-attached kind of relationship. With no emotional commitment, they will turn to the partner when they have the need. And often, the girls are frenz with their partner. More often than not, girls are always at the losing end. there'll be alot of "what if?" that surround their mind. With only one partner, they do not run the risk of getting STD illnesses.

One-night stand. Ever watched the show before? premire in 1997, 8 years ago. some might have some might not. if this is done on both willing, but married individual, i feel it'll ruin both party and their family. It was in a moment of folly that destroy what thay originally have, a happy family.

Girls will often be at the losing end cuz whihc guy doesnt want a virgin as their wife, but are they virgins themselves?? Nope! So y tat specification. Eventhough the world is getting more n more open, alot of guys still demand that their other half be meek little lamb, muz be able to order her ard controlling her.

Guys! You can say i'm bias or wad, but that's the fact alot of ppl are seeing surrouding us...some guys r still as egoistics...or guys are supposed to be like tat, it's their nature??

Graduation at lAst

2005-04-03T10:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday and today is TP Design Sch Diploma show. If that's the case, y am i here writing my blog? it's becuz i've fallen ill. Finally after my FYP and sch work I've fallen sick. Sore eyes!!...my eyes are both red and swollen. Might as well, i nv want toattend the dip show. Seriously after 3 years in design, i need to give a deep thought abt it whether i'm suitable for this industry. I always wanted to go into apparel design. but compared to the others i juz feel tat my work is not there yet.

Now for abit of bitching abt the event. To say the truth, the venue was horrible, the place was so run down and not v easy to find as well. when they told us on the day of the setup tat they will leave the floor as it is, we thought it was some april fool's joke for us. the cemented flooring was really not presentable for such an event. furthermore, the stage for the show is ju a pathetic square. althou the place is quite nice on the exterior, but still abit run down. but compared to the venue opp the Timberlux Centre, that place is even more jialat..haha...practically falling apart n totally like a ruin. Is tat supposed to be a console for all of us tat our lect nv pick tat place??

Now i'm considered a grad le,i will really miss my frenz. after graduation, we will all lead our own life, be it working or schooling. Now i'm still quite blur to wad i want. it was the same situation like when my sis grad dunno wad to do. either i anyhow settle for a job coming my way, or i go look for 1. so how, it's chanting for a direction yea!!

Love

2005-03-26T10:39:00.000+08:00

who believe in real love? many a times, the person we love cant be with us but the person who love you[and yet we dun] treats you better than anyone else in the world. izzit better to love or to be loved?

love isn't as wonderful most drama series where both party always got together in the end. It's also not as dramatic as Romeo & Juliet or the Butterfly Lovers which most of us are rather familiar with. no seperation or objections from parents just because both party are of different status and background. [too much dramas i supposed]

Rather, i feel tat love are being wreak by the fickle-minded people. alot of people treat love like a game, worse, like clothes which we change everyday. Love is no longer a commitment to alot. It used to be sacred and noble, but i guess alot of people have given up hope. "Sarcred? Noble?We are being treated like trash by our bf"

Look at Gabrielle in Deperate housewife. She commits adultary even being married to a lovely and sweet husband.

Guys out there, if you dun love a person, would you buy a life-size teddy bear for her on her birthday? Or would you drove to her house in the middle of the night juz because she needed your help in her project when she called you in the 13th hour? Or knowing tat you love her and yet push her to the other one because you know you cant treat her so well as the guy and you want the best for her? Or would you give her your word that you'll always be there for her when she need someone to talk to?

I'm not blind and I'm not deaf, I have a heart which i can feel. But why all these happened to me are not done by a single guy. why they are not done by someone i duno. why are all these done by my friends who i consider buddy, good friends...

FYP after-thoughts

2005-03-21T15:28:00.000+08:00

Currently waiting for 1st of April to come. Not becuz it's my birthday or I wan to play pranks on ppl. but becuz i'll be freed on that day from 3years of torture. i feel tat there are 2 side of me. One is the school side. and the other is the gakkai side.

Due to different environment you'll tend to behave differently. The past semester has been hellish for me (dun hv the intention of scaring potential TP design students away), it's so stressed n terrible that even going for SSA mtgs i'm only going into a state of rapture. Bad rite?

Never been feeling so lost and confused b4.it's different from O levels 4 years ago. at least that time when you are off track, teachers will pull you back again to the right track again. but now, when you gets older, alot of things you have to start it and finish yourself. no more spoon-feeding

for the past few months so many things happen unexpectedly. home comp internet down den alot of personally problems which disrupt me emotionally...laptop practically wanna crash, dun hv enough sleep, nv eat properly, junk food has been my best fren all these while. those who nv c me for a long time will know tat i reduce weight. all thx to stress.

vulgarity has been my 2nd best fren recently. cuz of all the bitches in my course..big n small..but my 2nd best fren will leave me eventually. it's like a hard-to-quit habit - smoking. u'll get addict to swearing cuz it's part of you

throughout the whole precess of my fyp, thou terrible. it was part of my life. at least i know something call final year proj...how it looks like how it feel and the challenge one has to face.

with challenge, we struggle, to overcome, to victory!

2005-03-14T13:26:00.000+08:00

Defeat defeat defeat defeat...it was a total defeat on friday 11th of March. Never expect tat i will fail terribly. eventhou alot of ppl try tok to me about it, i may appear ok on the outside, but i'm definitely bitter on the inside. state of rapture. i tried. so hard, so hard. drop-out cross my mind. i wasnt ready to accept. i dunno but my body gave way, i cant think n i cant stay up late too often now. i'm always lethargic.
as of today, i'm still trying to struggle v hard. the journey, challenge, struggle and finally to victory. all these all of us hv to do it. i'm so sick n tired after all these, 1 week is so short wad can i do? wad miracle can i create? can i turn a fail to a pass??
yes i can, no i can't. how can i ever convince myself tat i will ultimately grad from tp. others used 4years to be a qualified lawyer. me? less than 1 week.

trouble brewing...

2005-02-16T21:55:00.000+08:00

Boys Boys Boys and Boys. How i wish i could hate them. But i cant becuz they are my frenz..or r they?
why do i have to see him today? why? isn't it better that we dun see each other anymore? why must i see him again? i have the guilty feeling within me. i really dunno wad he wants. he didnt want to say. i hope my thoughts about him is correct. By seeing him again, I couldn't help but feeling happy about it. And he looks good in that uniform. really. seeing him again made my heart thump really hard n fast..haha...
looks like i still cant settle down. i still want to have fun and excitement. i mean who doesnt. everyone still wants to play, still want to spend lots of time with frenz playing together.

these few days i've not been doing my work. not much. instead, i've spend time on my dream. really, i think other than yingjie, nobody knows that i actually want to be a writer, unless there's people reading this block now..haha..i nv told anyone about this dream. even if they did, they'll juz dismay it as one of my dream. but nevermind, it doesn't really matter to me. as long as i believe, i'll be able to do it. tat's wad he taught me. Think positive.

friendship or relationship

2005-02-15T14:43:00.000+08:00

i am really guilty and down. i'm the one that literally destroy the friendship among us. i know i should'nt have done that to him. even he replied yes to my sms, i dun think i'll have the face to see him. i doubt he'll want to see me anyway.
when i told him the truth after sometime, i should have known. it'll break his heart. now, he's giving me cold shoulders. can someone tell me what to do? i really dun wan to lose this fren of mine.
and now, the idiotic third party LW is "invading" into my life. GUILTY. it's really heart-wrenching to go through all these. so what if i have lots of guy frenz, alot of frenz surrounding me. this isn't wad i wan.
FRIENDS. izzit really true that guy and ger cannot be best fren...juz frenz and nothing else. why guys have to think so complicated. frenz mah...wad's wrong with juz being frenz. i wanna cry. izzit frenz supposed to be really good and supportive...to be there for you when projectsg goes wrong? why are they treating me this way. izzit really my fault? that i destroy the friendship with my own hands??

Beautiful Stories..

2005-02-11T23:43:00.000+08:00

One of my ambition is to publish my own book, my own novel. other girls dream of being a singer, but not me. wad's the big deal of being a singer when all u do is to sing. there are so many people who can do tat.

Unless you are like Wang lee hom, David Tao, or Jay Chou, or even singapore's JJ Lin. i feel that, that is call talent. you write your own song, sing you own song, play your own music, your own instruments or even write songs for others. all of us mimic our favourite singers, but talented singers have their own style of singing.

back to writing a book. when i was younger, thou my grammer wasnt that good, i always received some good comments abt my composition from my teacher. it died down for awhile when i went poly. until a module call creative writing spark off my interest in writing again. i wrote a short story for tat.

when i watched the movie tonight, Finding Neverland, it again, sparked off my interst in writing. the story toks abt a playwriter[johnny depp], creating plays for the royalties. one day he got to know a widow n her 4 sons. he blend into the family n put them into his dream and eventually lead them into Neverland.

thou the ending was sad, cuz kate winslet[the widow] died.
i find that trou writing i can let my imagination run wild. as i love to dream, i am able to pen down my dreams and thoughts. thou i still need alot of improvments for my grammar...hahaha...be it chinese, english or others, language is a beautiful thing specially created for us.